I’m single again but no formal break-up. It all started when he told me that he’ll be meeting (first meet up, a.k.a. EB) his online friend (OF) for 2 years.
We were at RCBC Plaza that time because I have to do overnight OT for a very important project. I invited him over since no bosses were around, just 3 programmers including me and 2 graphic artists. I let him use the computer in our pantry. Then I saw him chatting with OF on G4M. I don’t have any problem with that. But afterwards, he told that he’ll be going down and meet OF since that he is working in the same building. “I’ll be going down to meet OF, sasama ka ba?” Darn, why do I still have an option if I’ll be coming with him or not? Should it be automatic that I’ll be coming with him since he’ll be meeting a potential ruiner of our relationship? Well, it sounded overprotective or lack of trust… but a partner should have the responsibility to protect his better half from others. And to my dismay, he really went down. He told me that he can’t find the restroom here at 34th floor, so he went down to 3rd floor (RCBC Plaza food court) to pee. Duh. Male restroom is just along our corridor, it is impossible for someone not to see it. I knew this was a harsh move, but without uttering any word, I escorted him out of our office when he arrived after going down.
After that night, I’m trying to forget everything… as if nothing happened. But he didn’t want to let this pass. So it ended like we are having a discussion along Ayala Ave. He was insisting that it is okay for us to meet new people (EB) considering that no sex involved. We just have to trust each other, that is all we need. But for me, that is not the kind of relationship I want. There is no exclusivity… can we call it partnership?
Furthermore, he didn’t want to take the responsiblity of updating me where he is or what he is doing. It was a Wednesday afternoon. I was waiting for a single SMS from him, but nada. Then I called, it was answered but no “hello”. So, it was just accidentally answered in his bag. Then after 15 seconds or so, I heard his voice. He told me that he was inside the movie house with his officemates, and he wanted to put down the phone right away and talk later instead. Though he said sorry but later on he got angry. “Mas mahigpit ka pa sa Nanay ko.” Am I? I was not forbidding him to go with his colleagues, but I just wanted to be informed of my partner’s whereabouts.
In general, he wants a relationship but at the same time practices absolute freedom. If you want freedom, then be single. Right? So, since then, I let him enjoy the freedom he always wanted. That’s why there is no formal break-up, we are not communicating at all.
Well, better luck next time.
“If you want freedom, then be single. Right?”
Right.
Absolutely.
Readers might be mislead as you didnt post the succeeding events that led to the “not-formal-breakup”.Except for those close to you that knows what happened,people will not be able to relate much,your post didnt really tailed that he sought freedom.
Thanks arn. I already edited my post.
Awwwww… you’ll find someone who deserves you 🙂 Patience my friend, patience. 🙂 Maybe he’s just around the corner, reading your blog.
MrDJ, hmmm… nice one! hehehe! eniwei, malay mo nga diba? 😛
Un pala ang nasite ko sa ayala ave martz! in fairness gumawa ka ng history dun… di obvious na may issue kau nun, lols! its super SAD naman pero let him go………!
I’d say partners who want something else…more… are worthless piece of ****.Those are just excuses…to escape…. from ..committment, responsibility. They just dont want to admit to themselves that they are hoar and do not treasure what you’s shared and sacrificed, they are selfish ***-****, unworthy of love/care. Those are people not true to their words, that “i love you” is just a phrase that comes out in their mouth to win a person right that particular moment.
Well, better luck next time.
hmmmm…allow me to say….sorry for them and congratulations to whoever will be your next…!!!!!!!!!!! hihihihi
At the very start of the relationship, issues that affect the mobility and responsibility of each of the partners have to be clearly discussed. Being in a relationship is difficult because you become responsible for another person but that responsibility doesn’t give one the right to smother – there has to be a middle way – a compromise between what you two want and what you two are only capable of. It’s a sign of maturity that you can bring issue like these to the table and discuss it with your partner realistically. I learned this from being in a reltionship with my ex – now, I’m happier with my partner of two and a half years.
Hi Martin!
Nice article. Just wana share a more painful experience. Well, just 2 weeks ago, I caught my bf kissing the bf of my hausmate inside our house. Ouch! I cried, broke up with him and that’s it. End of the story.
Now, what’s important is that we’ve learned from our experience and part of that learning is acceptance and moving on. Afterall, life is beautiful and so are we.
regards,
Braven
really? gosh! so what did your housemate say regarding this? did it cause you both so much trouble inside the house?
Braven, that’s right… move on and enjoy life!
can anyone tell me what love is?? (wecouldbe@atenista.net)
It’s not your lost. Why does he need to meet someone (EB) if you are committed? Regardless of no sex and it’s purely meet-up. If you find enjoyment in meeting up others to exercise his freedom then your right “be single”.