“Homophobia is a social disease.”

Are you a man who loves
And cherishes
And cares for me?
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yeah…
Are you a guard in a prison
Maximum security?
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yea eh…
Do we stay home all the time
Cuz you want me to yourself?
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yeah…
Or am I locked away
Out of fear that i’d find
Someone else
Is that you? Is that you?
yea eh…

Well, I don’t like
Living under your spotlight
Just because you think
I might find somebody worthy
Oh, I don’t like
Living under your spotlight
Baby, if you treat me right
You won’t have to worry

is this a relationship
Fulfilling your needs
As well as mine
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yeah…
Or is this just my sentence
Am I doing time?
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yeah…
If this is love
Real, real love
Then I’m staying no doubt
Is that you? Is that you?
Is that you? yeah…
But if I’m just love prisoner
Then I’m busting out
Is that you? Is that you?


Oh, you oughta be
Ashamed of yourself
What the hell
Do you think you’re doing?
Loving me, loving me
So wrong
Baby, all I do is try
To show you
That you’re my
One and only guy
No matter
Who may come along
Open your eyes
Cuz baby, I don’t lie

(Chorus 2x)

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Bangkok Love Story is a Thai gay romantic crime action drama film starred by Rattaballung Toesawat (Mhek) and Chaiwat Tongsang (It). It is a story of a man who falls in love with a gunman who is assigned to kill him. It offers a different approach compared to any other gay films I’ve seen because it combines gay love with guns and bullets. Be ready for its heavy drama and tragic moments, good to have your hanky handy.

You will believe more in forever after watching this. A really must-see movie.

Bangkok Love Story

Bangkok Love Story

A loner gunman named Mhek is assigned to kidnap a police informant named It, but Mhek has a change of heart when he is ordered to kill It. In a gunbattle with his employers, Mhek is wounded, but It grabs Mhek’s gun and returns fire. The two men then escape on Mhek’s motorcycle. At Mhek’s rooftop hide-out, It tends to Mhek’s wound and finds himself attracted to Mhek. While giving Mhek a bath one day, It initiates sexual intercourse with the hitman. Conflicted, Mhek demands that It leave him alone. It returns home to his fiancee, Sai, but is no longer interested in continuing a relationship with her. It spends his days pining over Mhek, and tracks down Mhek’s brother, Mhok, and their mother. Mhok is HIV positive, as the result of sexual abuse by his and Mhek’s stepfather, and their mother is dying of AIDS.

Mhek’s dream is to take his mother and brother away from Bangkok to the mountains of Mae Hong Son Province. But after Mhek’s mother has realised Mhok sold himself to survive, she commits suicide by hanging herself. At the same time It’s fiancee, Sai, also witnesses Mhek and It kissing, and terminates their marriage plans. Meanwhile, Mhek’s former employers are gunning for him. It decides to take matters into his own hands, and goes to Mhek’s bosses’ hide-out and shoots them both. Mhek, meanwhile, is planning to meet his brother at the railway station to leave Bangkok for good. But before he can board the train, he is apprehended by the police and sent to prison.

Years pass by. Mhok commits suicide while at a Hospice in Northern Thailand because he no longer has the energy to fight his disease. It visits Mhek in prison and reveals that he was left blind in the final gunbattle with Mhek’s bosses. Eventually, Mhek is released from prison, and It meets him. But before the two men can leave to start their life together, Mhek is gunned down by an assassin. It eventually gets his sight back, and the first thing he does is to look at his mobile phone, which has a picture of Mhek on it that he took many years before and a video taken by Mhek himself saying that all along, he had love It and he will love him to his last breath.

Source: wikipedia.org


I was able to get a copy of this Filipino gay film “Daybreak” starred by Paolo Rivero (William) and Coco Martin (JP). It throws a lot of emotions from the script and acting, allowing the viewers to feel its deeper meaning. An emotional battle within the two characters can be seen throughout the movie, which is very evident in their romantic dance and final sex scene. Even if It has only one setting (rest house in Tagaytay), two characters, and has a short running time (1 hour and 15 minutes), the core of the story remained intact and juicy.

And by the way, Coco Martin is a versa here unlike in his debut movie “Masahista” which he was a bottom. Hehe.



A married man is having an affair with another man. After some time apart, the two men spend a night together in a family vacation home in Taal, Batangas. Together in such close quarters, the two are left with nothing to do but to confront the realities of their relationship.

The movie opens with William (Paolo Rivero), a doctor driving up to Tagaytay City to meet his secret lover JP (Coco Martin), a handsome young fellow with beautiful tanned skin in his mid-twenties. While driving, William was engaged in a cell phone conversation with his wife who was asking when he will return home. William made up an alibi saying that he has an unexpected appointment in Tagaytay and will probably be back in Manila the next day. On the other hand, JP was waiting in a public viewing park of the Taal Volcano to join William in his Tagaytay escapade. JP is a local boatman and tour guide in Taal, Batangas and William’s secret lover for a year now. Although, it was not specifically reiterated in the movie, listening to their dialogue, one will learn that the two men obviously met during one of William and his wife’s visit to Taal Volcano. If William has a wife, JP on the other hand, has a girlfriend. The two did not see each other for two months partly because William is very busy being a Makati physician and partly because he is a family man. While Coco had spent two months secretly waiting for William while keeping himself busy with his boating job and his girlfriend. Deep inside, the two lovers missed each other so much. When they reached the rest house, William cooked pasta and they ate and drunk wine together. It was, however the last night that the two lovers will share their love with each other as William is scheduled to leave for Australia. William wants to call it quits but doesn’t know how to break the bad news to JP who is already emotionally attached to him albeit they really didn’t have an agreement that they are indeed a couple.

The tension starts when William tells JP that he’s leaving the country. Several scenes and dialogue lead up to the climax as JP was reluctant to accept the fact that it was the end of their relationship. The two men spent the night talking about their past including happy and unforgettable memories while browsing their pictures. The night has been a beautiful night. Their intimacy renewed and they made love as pleasurable as ever. But as the daybreak comes, William remained firm to his decision, leaving for Australia and ending his relationship with JP. The movie ends as William is driving back to Manila again and JP, alone in the nocturnal Tagaytay rest house and numbed to the truth that their relationship is doomed in just one night.

Source: wikipedia.org
Chicane Live in Manila

Chicane Live in Manila | September 27, 2008 | World Trade Center

Who’s coming? Let’s parteee! See you guys there!

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Drive boy dog boy dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy she was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy and tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy you had
Hands girl boy and steel boy you had
Chemicals boy Ive grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy she said
Comeover comeover she smiled at you boy.

Let your feelings slip boy but never your mask boy
Random blonde bio high density rhythm blonde boy
Blonde country blonde high density
You are my drug boy youre real boy speak to me
And boy dog dirty numb cracking boy
You get wet boy big big time boy
Acid bear boy babes and babes and babes and
Babes and babes and remembering nothing boy.
You like my tin horn boy and get wet like an angel.

You got a velvet mouth youre so succulent and beautiful
Shimmering and dirty wonderful and hot times
On your telephone line and God and everything
On your telephone and in walk an angel.
And look at me your mom squatting pissed in
A tube hole at tottenham court
Road I just come out of the ship
Talking to the most blonde I ever met.
Lager lager lager lager shouting
Lager lager lager lager shouting
Lager lager lager shouting
Mega mega white thing mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing mega mega shouting
Lager lager lager lager mega mega white thing
Mega mega white thing
So many things to see and do in the tube hole
True blonde going back to romford
Mega mega mega going back to romford
Hi mom are you having fun and now are you on
Your way to a new tension headache

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While I was playing Final Fantasy X-2 on Playstation 2, I was able to watch this cutscene before Chapter 4 ends. Even if I don’t understand the lyrics of the song because it’s in Japanese, but I can feel the emotion it brings.



When you got disconnected from the Internet and tried to reconnect, it will give you a different IP address. There is a small chance of getting the same IP address again since it’s a dynamic one. Your computer is able to cope with the network changes.

Disconnection means new life… new path… new network place to deal with. But sometimes, you don’t want to be disconnected just for a moment because you’re enjoying it.

My connection is getting weak now, and it might get disconnected anytime soon. Should I give in to its weakness, or try to tech and repair it?


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Unprofessional Bosses

To start with, I’ve been with a Korean-owned web development company for 3 years. I resigned last February because I can’t see any career growth for me, and the management is on their trial and error phase ever since I joined them until now.

Anyway, I was lucky to have an offer with this US-based web development company. I thought this is a better one, but to my dismay, it was far less than my old company. I was like just a freelancer. No deductions, no benefits, or whatsoever. But they do give very competitive salary. I even don’t have any contract signed with them. But yes, I do go to their office, 5 times a week, 8 hours a day.

Some would think that this is an advantage for me since I am getting all the money. Yes, it’s good. I can get all the money and be richer in no time. But how about my future? How about my ITR, SSS, Philheath, Home funding, and medical benefits? Sometimes, money is not all that counts.

So, I then decided to look for another job while working on this company. I got an offer from one of the top credit card companies here in the Philippines, still web development. I already signed a contract with them last two weeks ago.

Tuesday last week, before going to our office, I told my boss through Yahoo Messenger that I will be resigning from their office effective May 15, 2008 and will be giving him my resignation letter later. He asked why, so I told him the truth. He went berserk, and he forwarded my concern to our CEO, an American lady who is paying a visit to the company’s Philippine site. She was so unprofessional that she wanted me to leave right away, no need to serve the notice period. And guess what, she wanted me to return the light toys (headlamps, used for mining) that she gave to every employee last week. Gosh, so childish, so unprofessional. These bosses were like toddlers having their so-called tantrums. The more reason I need to leave this company.

If not with these unprofessional bosses, I believe that this company has a future in the web development industry. Their product is good, a very good Content Management System,. But if they continue this being so unprofessional, I can certainly conclude that their company will be forever a startup one and no future at all.

So what now? I’m still waiting for my last payout. And unfortunately, my first payout with the new company will still be on June 15, 2008. Gosh. I wasn’t prepared for this. I won’t be having any extra to celebrate my upcoming birthday. Sigh.

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My Big Love

I just watched “My Big Love” (starred by Sam Milby, Toni Gonzaga, and Kristine Hermosa) on DVD last Monday night and I just can’t get over it. I remember the days when I was fat, from 170lbs. down to 120lbs. now. While watching this movie, I realized that I was actually facing a mirror. I’ve been there with all those five steps that Aira (Toni Gonzaga) is asking Macky (Sam Milby) and all of her clients to learn by heart.

  1. Goal Setting – At first, I want to lose weight because I want to attract more guys and get laid. But eventually, I’ve realized that I have to do it for myself and not for anyone else.
  2. Start Today – It took a year for me to get serious with my workout. But I’ve realized that I was actually wasting my money, paying the gym monthly dues without progress. Tsk tsk.
  3. No Shortcuts – I didn’t take any diet pills. I did vigorous cardio exercises, especially cycling classes, and also a strict no-rice diet.
  4. Motivate Yourself – It keeps me motivated when people around me can see that I’m really losing weight. And as Fitness First would always say, “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
  5. Be Happy – Be happy with what you have achieved, and don’t deprive yourself too much.

But weird isn’t? When I was fat, I had a lot of steady relationships compared today, or should I say I don’t have any relationships to call now. Just a lot of new and returning hookups, but no one is come back for a relationship. Maybe I should be fat again, so I can have my lovelife back where it was before. Sigh.

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My Past Life

I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Hungary around the year 1375. Your profession was that of a preacher, publisher or writer of ancient inscriptions.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main lesson is to develop magnanimity and a feeling of brotherhood. Try to become less adhered to material property and learn to take only as much, as you can give back.

Past Life Analysis

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